The Discipline Dilemma

I have overheard parents discussing discipline many times, and have discussed it regularly with parents in my workshops and coaching sessions.  Usually, this discussion reveals a dilemma: disciplining our child seems to bring a justifiable fear of damaging our relationship with our child, no matter his/her age and no matter the disciplinary method (even a time out or a time in). On the other hand, if we don't discipline our child, we fear he or she will be out of control and not do what we feel he or she should. We usually settle for one or the other, or switch back and forth. Neither are truly satisfying.  There is an alternative that works.