Below is your the homework assignment (it doesn’t take long, but it does take your undivided time and attention, your uninterrupted focus). Your writing it down reinforces it in your system: that it is important to you, and your sending your notes to me both adds to the reinforcement and lets me know that it is worth my time to send you this “homework,” a short process, send you feedback, and, if you say so, send you a solution and how to implement it.

Your participation (who you are) and your notes to me will remain confidential, unless by law or by use of services agreements, I must report any activity that violates them or is abusive or illegal.

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, psychologist, or mental health professional. I am an educator whose views are based on over 35 years of work with young children and families. If you need professional help, please use other resources for find an appropriate service.

Thank for your trust and especially for your commitment to creating a fulfilled life in front of, and along with, your partners life. Your children, as you will see if you continue, can be your most valuable coaches!


Homework 01 - Getting Upset

Recall the last time you got upset with your child, your life partner, your parent … or even your dog (to start). First, what exactly happened? What did that person say and/or do - exactly? Describe only what specifically was said and/or done. Then, what happened in you? What body sensation, facial expression, verbal reaction did you have? What emotion(s) did you experience? Then, what thoughts did you have about that person, about yourself, about what has happened in the past that you thought of (“I just told him not to put the crayon in his mouth!”, or, “She promised she would clean that up!”, etc.).