By Martin L Dutcher

 What if every parenting problem or concern you encountered led you to an extraordinary learning and relationship-building experience?

The title, Beyond Good Parenting, is the key and a very strong yet unique exhortation in and of itself.

While the book’s thrust and it’s lingering message is to go “beyond good,” it is not to do that in a familiar way, such as by doing “more” good or by getting “better.”  Our common parlance triggers our unfortunate tendency to grade ourselves (e.g., bad, good) or to assume that I am exhorting parents to go beyond goodness to greatness. Not so, and the real message is not easily grasped at first.

A large sustainable goal from digesting the book and integrating it into family life is to leave the gradient behind and to no longer be driven to rate ourselves as parents. That freedom from self-rating allows us to discover an innate normalcy and healthiness in our daily interactions between ourselves and our children. It is the key to unlocking our own playfulness and frees us to free our children to grow with all their natural capabilities turned on.

To go "beyond good" is to be free to enjoy our children as we and they grow through life, engaged and together.

But this does not leave us without recourse to change problematic behavior. Behavioral issues among family members are not to be ignored, but a new context for assessing behavior is proposed, allowing desires to be shared and adjustments to be requested without a threat of loss of autonomy or belonging.  In this context, changes in behavior, whether parental or child, occur at choice and with no or only short-lived emotional upsets. Living with each other becomes a life-long learning, growing, and fulfilling partnership.

And as parents and children participate outside of the family, the possibility of diversity and interdependence is revealed - everywhere.

   The revised Second Edition is NOW AVAILABLE !!!!  (Order above)

NOTE: Beyond Good Parenting has been accepted into the San Francisco Public Library System!

Read review:

Beyond Good Parenting is a warm and delightful eye-opener of a book! Marty Dutcher writes from his own experience in parenting as well as a lifetime career of working with children and parents – even grandparents. His carefully constructed concepts and techniques can help create a new respect and understanding for how children learn, how they discover their own interests and what helps them absorb new information about their world. Dutcher’s approach is to join up with kids with an attitude of “Let’s discover together what works – and what doesn’t work, in how we live in this world.” Beyond the right and wrong, beyond the good and bad, this underlying attitude, if passed on to kids by parents, teachers, and others, can help them form their own views as they learn in collaboration with peers and adults while understanding and respecting the necessity of parental accountability (i.e. who is in charge!). Dutcher lays a solid groundwork of the science behind these powerful views of behavior and learning, and his love and respect for parents as well as their children shines through it all.

     -- Judith Keefe, parent, instructional designer, author of KinKept: Intentionally Nurturing Connections

If you would like to be put on the notification list for the downloadable version with extended links for deeper understanding and related research and discussion, or are interested in a seminar, or are interested in a discussion group, please contact me through my Contact page.